Back Again – maybe this time a little longer than a week. I haven’t been out of the loop but I did withdraw from many things for a while. It seemed I was carrying some drama with me and I couldn’t find a way to let it go. To keep any harm from coming to what I cared about it was best to step back a bit and let things play out…with out me. I’ve gained a bit of perspective by doing this. One is how much I love the Beatles and John Lennon. They are incredibly awesome, truly, sometimes I’m in awe of how beautiful and inspiring their music is. Another thing is that I did earn some respect in the groups I was involved in, still have some of that too. One person in particular, who I respect and admire greatly, said about me “you have to respect that guys practice, he digs in and gives it all, and it shows”. That means a huge amount to me…of course though with hearing some of this…PRIDE starts to arise. We can look at pride as getting caught up in praise and fame and even maybe the better than conceit comes into play. At one time I couldn’t separate myself from it but this time I saw it quite clearly, as soon as it started to arise I saw it. I let it arise then I abandoned it, no repression, no fear, just a letting go. Out of this I felt a connection, almost a oneness, with all the people involved. Even something as sticky as pride we can use for awakening. This practice has brought me a long way, from craving and chasing the mundane concerns such as fame and praise to seeing them just as part of what happens. For the most part not getting carried away by the highs and not getting beaten down by the lows.
With Metta Friends
